Gift For You
by LightOfTheSecondStar
Summary: There was no harm in opening a box, right? Even if he was being pressured to open it for no conceivable reason... Oneshot, not-so-slight D/V, rated T for a slightly awkward situation.


_Yes, a Christmas Day oneshot, because no season is safe from ridiculous and oft/not-needed humor. _

_(For anyone that was actually waiting for an update in Strawberries, I'm sorry. I fail epically. Good news, it's coming back. Bad news, you'll have to wait even longer for it.)  
_

_-Ultima_

* * *

Sunlight peeked into the bedroom, casting a faint light through the curtains restoring color to the random knick-knacks strewn across. The light crept up, along the walls, on the bed and along the sheets, until stopping at the shifting form of our favorite red-clad half-devil. His eyes snapped open.

A few seconds later, the bedroom door flew off and Dante leapt out into the hallway. He burst into song and dance in just his pajamas, singing "It's snowing, it's snowing, it's Christmas day and it's snowing— Woo!" He got excited three-hundred-and-sixty-four other days in the year for this one moment, and why? "Presents!" he shouted, leaping down the steps to the living room, nearly tripping over his own two feet on the landing. Of course he could have lost his footing and fallen to the floor face-first, but that wouldn't stop him any more than a bullet to the head! This was a _special day_, and it wasn't going to wait. He fell to the floor in front of the Christmas tree posted in the corner of the living room, and on his hands and knees started crawling along the floor to take a look at the presents piled under it.

_Present for me, present for me, present for me!_

_

* * *

  
_

A hailstorm raged right outside, stones snapping off tree branches and busting through windows, but not _his_ window. It didn't _dare_ touch his window, or his side of the house for that matter. He sat up in his bed, having been forced out of sleep by his twin's out of control spastic attack.

Yep. Vergil was wide awake; the first thought that popped in his mind was, "How can I make Dante's life a living hell today?" As soon as his feet hit the floor, Gothic Power started playing in full volume, angels and devils alike wept, and Lucifer himself begged for his life.

…Not necessarily. None of that actually happened aside from him waking up from the noise— in fact, all there was outside was a light snow, with sunlight trying to shine through the clouds— but Vergil was damned evil, and an epic retelling of how his morning started was absolutely necessary.

He stood in front of the mirror, combing his hair with his fingers, styling it back in the usual more refined look. After much primping and preening in front of said mirror, he made his way out of the room and down the steps, hearing the sound of Dante crawling around on the floor on his hands and knees. _What an animal, _Vergil thought with contempt.

Why couldn't Dante have been born with a little more sense than to make a fool of himself in his own home? The idiot was practically broadcasting his thoughts, '_Present for me, present for me, presentspresentspresents—_' and pulling the meticulously wrapped gift boxes addressed to him out from under the tree's shelter. The impatience was killing him! Who cared if no one else was there, and politeness dictated that he wait until the family was awake? He wanted his gifts! He was about to claw the paper off until Vergil drove a foot into his head with a thrust kick.

"OW! What was that for!?" Dante whined. He wasn't doing anything wrong, he only wanted what was his, and that was no sin. Right?

Vergil's look told him otherwise. "You're supposed to _wait _until everyone is awake so that _they _can give you your presents."

"Aww," Dante said, looking at the floor with a sad look, before adding with a sudden smile, "Good thing you're the only one here, huh?"

Vergil looked away. "Yes, I suppose." They'd been living by themselves ever since they'd come of age, and it was the kind of lifestyle they had their own respective views on. Vergil realized he was better off living by himself, what with having to clean up Dante's messes, having to motivate his twin to do it for himself (or motivate him to do _anything_ other than sit around eating strawberry sundaes and day-old pizza).

Dante viewed it as being free from parents, aside from the occasional phone call. The calls were always addressed to Vergil, which was fine by him. (In reality it was because Vergil was more likely to tell the truth. God forbid any day Sparda or Eva called wondering if they were alright and Dante answered "Fine," when they were really going to Hell in a hand-basket.)

But that wasn't important. Dante sat on the floor, eager to get Vergil to sit beside him and give him the box with the candy cane pattern on the wrap— the one with the nice yellow ribbon tied around it. He knew it was from Vergil. All of the gifts from his twin had that yellow ribbon. Or a blue bow. Either or, it was a dead giveaway.

Vergil reluctantly sat down and handed him that same box. "Merry Christmas," he mumbled lowly. Dante grinned and tore away the wrapping, finding a blank box. Not a single pattern or picture, so as not to give away what was inside. _Woo! More surprises! _He flipped open the top and pulled out _The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions_ by W.C. Green.

He blinked a few times. He looked at the book, then at Vergil, then back at the book. "Verge," he whined, making sure to crank up the Ungrateful Brat tone in his voice to Unbearable.

Fortunately it had no effect on the blue-clad twin, as he had to put up with hearing that tone in every occasion for the majority of his life, if not all of it. "Be glad I got you something you _needed_, rather than something you merely _wanted_." He paid no mind to Dante, instead pulling out a gift that was addressed _**to Vergil, from Mary**_. 'Strange,' he mused to himself; 'she's not one to give me presents, but then again…' he trailed off and looked towards Dante. The younger twin had his head tilted curiously to the side, wondering what exactly Mary decided to give Vergil as a gift. The box wasn't wrapped; possibly for easy access? He took off the lid. "Pincers?"

Dante swiped them out of the box and waved it around. "Why'd she give you pincers, Verge?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Vergil mumbled. The random tool was accompanied by a card, which he read to himself. He said nothing as he read it, leaving Dante in some odd suspense. The older twin looked up from the card with his best 'I am Not Amused' look and handed Dante the card to read for himself. "That's not funny," Vergil said.

_Gee, what got him so worked up? _Dante had no choice but to take the card and figure out what the 'Not funny' joke was. "Okay… '_You might not think it's much, but this is to help get the stick out of your—'_ " Dante stopped reading and bit his lip in an attempt to stifle a laugh. It didn't do much; he couldn't stop himself from shaking from the impending fit of laughter. "C-come on," he managed to say, "_I_ thought it was funny." Vergil shot him a glare; almost accusing him for the words in the card. "Oh, don't look at me like that— it was NOT my idea," Dante said. Vergil only looked away, willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. There was a point; those two were close, but not _that _close. Almost like a sibling-close. They could be closer. Why weren't they?

"Whatcha thinkin' of?" There was nothing like a random question to break someone out of their train of thought.

"Nothing."

"Okay. So, open the one I want to give you. That one over there," the younger twin pointed to the box with the fancy red bow tacked on the top. Vergil just looked at it, and he'd suddenly felt an instinct _not _to open it. There was no particular reason why, but he had the vague feeling that if Dante was even bothering to tell him to open the present, it probably wasn't anything good. Not that it would be a _bad_ present, but it would be something he'd regret looking at.

"Hm, maybe later, alright?" Vergil tried to put on a smile, to ward off any suspicion. There were plenty of more gifts that required opening. Gifts addressed to them separately, to his relief.

* * *

Ten gifts and three generic Christmas cards later, Vergil tried to keep his expression blank, but on the inside, he was pretty scared. As luck would have it, there weren't any gifts under the tree anymore to keep them both occupied for the sake of not wanting to open Dante's specific gift. He didn't know what it was, and he didn't want to know. Curse his luck, it was the only thing left.

"Come on, open it, open it, open it," Dante urged. For an added effect, he leaned disturbingly close into Vergil's personal space. "Come on…"

"I **will** when you **back off!**" Vergil snapped. Thinking he was a bit rude, he mentally took back his words and turned to look at Dante, in an effort to issue an apology. He tried to hide his surprise. The younger twin wasn't perturbed at the slightest at that outburst. In fact, Dante simply moved away and sat down primly on the rug with a smile. It wasn't the least bit forced. "How about now?" He asked, innocently.

"…Alright," Vergil said with a sigh. It if would make Dante shut up and stop being so bothersome… Very carefully, he thumbed off the tape in the sides, pulled over the folds in the gift wrap, all that other wonderful stuff. Okay, he had an adequately sized box. No harm in a box. He took a look inside and blinked for a while. There was a box IN a box. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No no no," Dante shook his head. "No joke. Check it."

Vergil gave him a wary look. What was in this, other than insane amounts of shredded filler paper (and the box)? Digging through the paper, he felt something else. He brushed away the filler and pulled it out. He raised an eyebrow. A cloth? The first thought that came to him was, _This is just big enough to gag someone with, _but he shook his head, thinking better of it. While he could think of the perfect use for it— namely, to gag Dante with it and shut him up once and for all— why would the younger twin want that? _Unless…_ He shook his head. No, that wasn't it.

Dante smiled wider. "Take a look in the other box."

Okay, other box it is. He opened it, and his _other _eyebrow arched upward. A pair of handcuffs? _This is getting very awkward, very fast. What would I want with handcuffs? _While he could think of the perfect use for it— coupled with the cloth, he could gag Dante and keep him stuck to his bed so he would never have to see him again (aside from the occasional feeding so his twin wouldn't die of hunger and rot, or something) — _why_ would Dante be giving Vergil items to be used against him? _Unless…_ He shook his head, trying to dispel the thought. Not that again. Thankfully, there wasn't a box inside of a box, so the gifts ended there.

He felt the weight of his brother leaning on him. "Just one more," Dante said. Vergil tried not to groan in disappointment. _Great, one more gift. What could it be? _Dante got up quickly and ran up the steps to his room, leaving Vergil to his thoughts. He tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Whatever it was, Dante must've forgotten it up there. Or he kept it to emphasize its importance. Was it really that great, that it had to be separate from all of the other gifts? _Hah, _Vergil scoffed, _Dante, actually placing _value _on something? This'll be the day. _

After a while, Dante came back down, holding the box firmly in place. Vergil merely followed him with his eyes. "Well?"

For some reason, Dante was breathing a little heavier than usual. He must've lost the gift in his graveyard of a room, the poor guy. "This is it," he breathed.

"Can't you sit down and give it to me?"

"No, I'd rather stand." Now he was just being weird.

Vergil's brows furrowed. "I don't think I want to open the box anymore. You're being difficult."

"B-b-but," Dante stammered, "I want you to! Open it, _please?_" Now he was begging. What was so special in that box? He wasn't even moving it from where he was holding— Wait… the box was… why was he holding it at crotch level?

Something told him he was better off not knowing, but to sate his curiosity, he just _had_ to make sure. "Dante… that had _better not_ be what I think it is, or…"

Dante blushed and looked away.

At that, Vergil's jaw unhinged, dropped, and clattered to the floor. Okay, not really, but his jaw went a little slack from the shock. He tried to find words that could best express just how awkward the situation corner of his lip twitched, and so did his left eye. "That's just… _great…_ I'll… be upstairs…" he just up and left.

Dante followed a few steps behind him, trying to coerce him to stay. "Awww, Verge, don't be such a killjoy! I hope you know how _hard_ it was to do it!"

"I hope that wasn't a _pun_, Dante," Vergil hissed, storming up the stairs.

"It kinda was," Dante mumbled, defeated. Vergil came to a sudden halt, right in front of his bedroom door. He whirled around to face Dante, and he didn't look angry. Not at all. At the very most, concerned. The younger twin blinked. "Um, yeah?"

"Dante," Vergil said, his voice no louder than a murmur, "was it… you know…" he tried avoiding the word, "_before_, or _after_ you stuck it in the box?"

That just made Dante blush again. No harm in answering the question, though. "Box first, then…" he nodded a little to finish the sentence.

Vergil's smile was paper thin, with no sincerity to it whatsoever. "Good luck trying to get it out." He went into his room, slammed the door shut, and left Dante to hear the locks clicking into place from the other side. A very long silence hung in the hallway, until Dante looked down at his 'present', shook his head slowly and said, "That's just cold, Vergil. Very cold."


End file.
